Piglet's Big Game: The Person
Overview Piglet's Big Game: The Person (born as, "Legally We Are Naming This Pig, Piglet's Big Game: The Person, This Is Not A Joke, Put All This On The Birth Certificate", more commonly referred to as PBG:TP) is a piglet musician best known for their time as a member of The Smegs, as the electric guitarist. They are also known for their horribly lengthy legal name, which was given to them as a cruel joke by their parents, who were obsessed with the 2003 video game "Piglet's Big Game". Though they bear an uncanny resemblance to said Piglet, PBG:TP considers themselves their own separate person. Early Life PBG:TP was born in 1967 in Los Angeles, CA, and was legally given their ridiculously lengthy name by their parents, on whom very little data exists. From PBG:TP's personal recollection, they recount that their parents were "two very loving pigs, who loved me almost as much as they loved the game 'Piglet's Big Game'." All known photos have shown PBG:TP's parents to be seemingly normal members of the species Sus domesticus ''(common pig) with seemingly no abnormalities. To this day, no record of PBG:TP's parents has been found, and their whereabouts are completely unknown. According to interviews conducted with PBG:TP, their parents were "extremely religious", and forced PBG:TP to play "Piglet's Big Game" on every available console at least 6 times a day in order to eat food. PBG:TP is now considered the world's foremost speedrunner of Piglet's Big Game, able to complete it on 6 consoles at once in under 0.0001 milliseconds. PBG:TP does not consider this feat to be "worth it". Music Career PBG:TP's interest in music first began when their parents forced them to sing the entire soundtrack to Piglet's Big Game or forfeit dinner. After that, PBG:TP began experimenting with sound and lyrics, and devised songs that would help them escape their home. They cobbled together a banjo out of hay and plastic straws, and began playing music so beautiful that the neighbors would be drawn to them; and then, with their attention held, PBG:TP's innovative lyrics such as "help me i havent eaten in 600 days" somehow compelled the crowd to break into PBG:TP's house and free him. It was at this point that PBG:TP's parents' fled, killing at least 20 people in the ensuing chase. Following this, PBG:TP's music became their saving grace, and they continued to perform to earn a living, eventually scoring a record deal with Some Company Records. In the summer of 2008, PBG:TP put out their first album: "''My Life Is Pain And The Scars I Have Received Shall Never Heal", which went Platinum in 5 seconds. "The Smegs" Guitarist One day, while walking down the street with their guitar, PBG:TP came across a sound they describe as "a sound so hollow and empty that it felt as though the universe filled with an infinite scream of despair". This was the first time PBG:TP had heard Smegmanin's voice. So moved were they that PBG:TP immediately proposed a musical collaboration, as they felt Smegmanin's endless sorrow truly resonated with the terrible life they'd led to that point. Their venture resulted in the smash hit album "Wii Will Rock U", which rocketed the group into stardom. But things did not stay well for long. Fame began to change the members of the group, and it wasn't long before Bepe quit the band, along with Mangostis shortly after. The sudden loss of two members meant that their second album, "Still Squishy and Full of Dicks", was to remain incomplete. PBG:TP suspected foul play in their group, and went to investigate Debramin, their guest on the first album. "I knew something was up," PBG:TP recounted in the PBS documentary "How The Smegs Lost Their Legs", "When Debramin was in his dressing room laughing evilly and saying 'now, I'll make them tear each other apart', it was sort of a red flag." Luckily, PBG:TP knew what needed to be done, so they crafted a Debramin Diss Track, which released as a single. The diss track was so powerful that Debramin was forced to leave town, swearing revenge. Unfortunately, the damage had been done, and the band officially broke up. "I sometimes wonder," PBG:TP said in an interview with TIME Magazine, "What we could have done, what heights we could have reached... But while I may have lost the band, I gained something else; the power to use my music for good." Cult In October of 2018, PBG:TP reported multiple stalkers following them, chanting out incantations and showering themselves with pig's blood. These intruders called themselves "Piglet's Big Cult", and scream that "the time of reckoning is nigh". The situation became more distressing once one member revealed that PBG:TP's parents know of their location, and will be coming to find them when "the changes" begin. Following this, PBG:TP was put into witness protection, where they experienced constant feelings of paranoia, stress, and nausea. They reported hearing music that appears to correspond to the Piglet's Big Game Original Soundtrack. As the month went on, PBG:TP's symptoms grew worse, causing them to grow additional limbs, scream in demonic voices, and develop telekinetic powers. Bill Nye was called in to see what could be done to aid them, and Bill discovered, to PBG's horror, that this was an intended part of their biology-- They were evolving into their true form, as the incarnation of Piglet's Big Game itself. Bill hypothesized that by October 31st, PBG:TP would have fully ascended, and even he knows not what form that will take. Horrified, PBG:TP went berserk and fled, vanishing to parts unknown. Their current whereabouts are unknown, but the appearances of Piglet's Big Cult have grown rapidly as the date of October 31st draws closer.